Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean?

	A Motivational Smile - Inspirational Words of Wisdom Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean? By Author Unknown      I sure hope that this continues to spread! I have already shared this with my daughter! A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Like the CARROT, the EGG, OR the COFFEE BEAN?

                         I say, “Be the BEAN!”

Detox your Social Circle- Is it Time to CLEANSE???

If you own ONE thing in this world, it is your POWER to CHOOSE. Remember that when you are choosing your friends and who you spend your time with. If you are truly focused on making changes, meeting a goal or chasing your dream - then surround yourself with people that will support you and add to your spirit.

Fitness: Want to get in shape and lose weight? Make the commitment and set your plan of action. If you have a "friend" that constantly wants to meet you out for lunch, or snacks, or drinks--- whatever will throw you off track: THEN THIS PERSON is probably NOT a good friend for you (right now). If you have talked to him/her and said, "I can't eat that" and he/she still does it... or worse yet... gives you the, "OH, it's fine... you can work it off later"-- or "You only live once..." Whatever the line... They are NOT helping you to stay focused. I would LOVE to help you!

Passion/Hobby: If there is something that you LLLove to do, you are good at and/or it brings you joy – THEN DO IT! Do not allow anyone to talk you out of following your passion or your dream. People will try; unhappy people really do enjoy company. If you have a ‘friend’ that calls your crafts SILLY- or constantly asks you, “Do you think you’re going to get rich doing that?” Then again, this is probably not a friend that boosts your inner strength or brightens your spirit. You will find yourself wanting to “prove them wrong” instead of ENJOYING your journey. (What a shame).

I am not suggesting that you cut ties with family & friends, just make smart choices when it comes to the company you keep. In order to be successful (AT ANYTHING) you need to surround yourself with supportive, positive people.

Friends don’t need to share passions or even have the same taste. True friends celebrate each other’s spirit, share joys, they do not judge.

It is healthy to cleanse our systems. Take a good look at your social circle, is it time to CLEANSE? Negative influence can only affect you IF YOU ANSWER that call... or INVITE IT OVER. (Just sayin')

Detox --Negative Nelly, Doubting Donnie, Pessimistic Patty, Cynical Cindy, Gloomy Gary and Puts-Me-Down Petula!!!

My Mom Always Told Me...

   My Mom ALWAYS told me that I was pretty and smart.  I totally believed her!  MY MOM didn't lie! (not that I knew of, LOL)  Her greatest gift, she gave me that dose of self confidence.  I do the same for my Daughter now!  I tell her ALL the time that she is a ROCKSTAR and that only she holds the power to decide who she is.  No one is strong enough to make her feel bad about herself!   She (both good and bad) is not the middle of 2 sisters - therefore she lacks the practice field for battle that is SO VITAL in the survival skills handbag for high school (mean girls).  I role-play with her as often as she will let me.  (It is actually fun - more flashbacks) She is AMAZED at how nasty my non-suppressed simple sibling memories are.  Then she realizes just why she is an ONLY child...  "Yes, we are awesome friends NOW..."  Enough said, hee hee.
   I am blessed to have developed the wide-open-door communication with my daughter.   The things that she is 100% comfortable telling/asking me warrants the moment of silent prayer that I just took!  As a middle child - mostly by choice I believe - I took the independent path and asked only those questions that I could NOT figure out for myself (and believe me-- those were painful to have to ask)!  I just did not want help... not with the other two demanding so much all of the time-- I knew my mom was exhausted!  (Not talking smack--my sissies know). 
   The true Mom/Daughter bond for me came when I gave birth and joined the "club".   Finally- Mom always telling me, "Just WAIT until you have a daughter of your own!!" Such a magical time and new phase in our relationship.  The next milestone was when my Dad passed.  I am most like him (brilliant, witty workaholic...) I was pretending to be him just then... sorry, kind of J.   I spent that first month with my Mom and it was the first time that we got to know each other as 'women'.  VERY COOL.  Getting to know me answered SO many questions about my Dad for her!  Because I am also a wife, a mommy, etc.. I could explain it in 'girl talk'!  For being such a sad time, it was one of our best mommy/me times too!  Funny how life works that way, isn't it?
   I hope that my daughter and I can mark similar milestones in our relationship as the decades pass and I hope that her respect for me grows like mine has for my MOM!   Every parent does the best that they can with what they have.   I think it is every grown-ups CHOICE to use their childhood as a crutch OR to use it as a pole vault!   

Still Standing

This month marks the anniversary of life altering events for me. 

•  Lost a dear friend ( to a sudden heart attack) 11-21-09
  
•  9 days later I lost my dad, sudden heart attack, he was only 67 11-30-09


• 39 days after that: I was shocked to the core by an unexpected corporate reorganization that took my 20 year career (which I LOVED).  This event also put 100 members of my “work family” out of their jobs too…

*❤* Mothers- please talk to your Daughters *❤*

There are not many things in this world that are more powerful than a  Mother's love.  I am blessed to be a mom and to have a beautiful teenage daughter that is able to share her emotions and communicate with me.  That was my #1 goal in raising her - I wanted her to KNOW that I was her SAFE PLACE.  I mean, if a girl can't trust her mother, then her entire world will be unbalanced.


I get my heart broken time and time again as her awesome friends come to spend the night and we "chat" for a bit... (she actually lets me do that).  Every now and then I will allow them to ask me questions-- and they don't even have to look at me...  I do it so that they can have REAL ANSWERS - because it is terrifying what they think and believe to be true.  I also get a quick reality check and gage as to where they are by the types of questions that they ask! 


I- for one - DID NOT FORGET what it felt like to be a teenage girl.  There are so many girls out there that do not tell their mothers anything!  I mean their mom's have NO CLUE what these girls do, where they go, etc.  How scary is that!?!?  Girls have gotten SO much meaner and have more weapons in which to "hurt" eachother with... I wish that they could see ahead 20 years ... go to a reuion and hear some stories... Some women carry these 'girl' scars for a long long time!  The girls of today would mature into healthier, more powerful women if they could detox the drama early on!


I try so hard to teach the "get off the porch" lesson to anyone who will listen.  Whenever people are focussing on YOU, then try not to react.  Hold on to your power- do not give it away to a group of drama launchers!   It is easy to picture it as if you are standing on your front porch and a group of kids are pelting you with water balloons.  They will keep launching balloons as long as you keep standing there and are a fun target-- even better if you scream,  cry and jump up and down!  It is YOUR CHOICE-- when you are tired of getting wet, then go inside and shut the door. (ie: logoff facebook, turn off your cell phone, etc.)  It isn't very much fun to throw balloons at an empty porch (an unavailable target)...  and pretty soon, someone else will come outside!  (just make sure that YOU do not join the throwers)!


The times when your teenager pushes you away are the times when she needs you there the most!  Just be her safe place,  make it OK to talk, OK to feel the feelings that she feels, and validate her journey.  You can't walk the path for her, but you can help her to find some pretty cool spots along the way!  No one is perfect and we all know that there is not a manual of how to do this correctly!  Just share the lessons that you've learned the hard way, and remember that giggles can help mend almost anything...   


I LOVE my MOM.  I LOVE being a MOM.  I LOVE my Daughter.  I LOVE my FRIENDS that help me keep my mom wits and giggles!

PS:  This goes for BOYS too *❤* I only have sisters and a daughter, so my "expertise" are a bit girlie =0)

HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR SPIRIT, YOU OWN THAT.

“Your SKILLS make you an asset to an Organization.
Your ATTITUDE and SPIRIT add value to it’s Net Worth.”Marta Haut
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"MANAGEMENT-ISMS" aka (marta-isms)

This is a list that I built and passed along to each new "Rookie" District Manager that I mentored over the years.  Lessons learned the hard way, hopefully will serve as growing pain prevention.

~ I do My BEST WORK when I remember to be myself!
~ I will NEVER forget what it takes to run the floor and manage the store.
~ I do not waste time or energy worrying about what people think of me.
~ My business is my business...the rest must be NONE of my business.
~ I have control over HOW I react to things that are put on my plate.
~ Never miss an opportunity to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT - I can't learn if I am not listening.
~ I do not have to be loud to be respected <ARTICULATE myself with GRACE and PROFESSIONALISM.
~ Remove the EMOTION...never the SPIRIT or the PASSION.
~ The only approval I seek comes from the results and achievements of my team.
~ It is no longer about ME...it is all about MY TEAM.
~ I will not be a problem solver, I will empower people to solve problems.
~ If it comes out of my mouth OUT LOUD...then I’d better be right. (know the facts)
~ Pick my battles wisely....trivial issues are exhausting and can be brutal.
~ There is no room on my shoulders for self doubt & insecurity.
~ I am the only one who can set my limitations.
~ The time and energy that I SPEND on my team TODAY will PAY for my FUTURE.
~ If I do not stick up for my people, WHO THE HECK WILL?
~ If it is important to my TEAM, then it is important to ME.
~ I had to make MANY mistakes to get this SMART! (Mistakes = Learning)
~ No one reaches brilliant by themselves…..be open to new ideas.
~ If it is good to help others, then it is good to ask for help when you need it.
~ I have confidence in myself, because I really BELIEVE that I CAN DO ANYTHING!
~ I will NEVER EVER lower my standards. 
~ I have learned, it is usually your ‘best’ people who will burn you, keep your eyes open.
~ If I don’t know the answer, I won’t make up an answer just to have an answer! 
~ I must establish a good connection, before I can communicate.
~ Did I TEACH someone something new today? Did I LEARN something new today?
~ There is ALWAYS something else to try, never never never give up. 
~ I will be careful not to start my conversations with, “I NEED” I will say, "How are you?"
~ I will do what I say I am going to do, and I will be on time.
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EMOTIONS NEED AEROBICS TOO!

Today my close circle of "committee" friends and I had some really great conversations!  You name it, we covered it! Sometimes it is just as important to give your emotions a GREAT WORKOUT too! When you have the support of a special group of friends, you can bring each other from tears to rage to giggles and really get things out! It feels great to know that you are not alone and that everybody deals with the same dramas of LIVING LIFE!  To allow feedback from someone who can look at your situation without your emotions is smart and healthy life management!  Please SHARE YOUR STORIES (with people that you trust to keep them in the vault) and "Work it ALL OUT"! ~ smile more =0)
                                                                                                                   
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ROCKSTAR Reflections...

For as long as I can remember, I have recognized the ROCKSTAR within those around me.  I know I grabbed  a hold of this "Leadership Style" early on in my Retail Career - because it was highly effective.  I have wittnessed so many people with titles hold their teams hostage with fear power and intimidation tactics  -- did it produce results?  Oh absolutely it did, short term.  What fear power does not provide, is a future.  Fear doesn't build a team,  teach leadership skills, create ownership or provide future bench strength. 

I often wonder about these 'fear powered' managers (cannot call them leaders), I bet it is exhausting to have to be negative and harsh all of the time!  If you have a team that you honestly have to manage with an iron fist, I think you have the wrong team.  There are so many talented individuals that crave a leader that will recognize their accomplishments and hardwork, then challenge them to reach higher by teaching them how and simply providing them with the resources needed.   Let the ROCKSTARS ROCK!

Mistakes and bad decisions are always part of life/business, this is how we learn.  These things may never be ignored, for if a leader says nothing - it is the same as saying, "I accept that behavior".  The point here is: Mark It and Move On! 

I have learned so much from the individuals that I have had the honor of training over the past 25 years.  ROCKSTARS, every single one of them have left me forever touched. I am one lucky learner. =) 
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"Never Happened File"

Woke up 6ish... every intention of getting my husband off to his twin brother's house to help tile (free family labor) then to jump downstairs and TURBOFIRE my way into my list of things to do!  Well, husband on his way, then side tracked by the pile of smelly work clothes on the bathroom floor, I ran back upstairs to grab them...  Hi - it is 9:30- GOOD MORNING!  (slacker)  This never happens, aside from just now.  So, I will simply file it in the "Never Happened File".  (LOVE this FILE - if you don't have one... please get one for yourself)!
 The "Never Happened File": You can't learn without making mistakes - but that doesn't mean you want to look at those lessons again...  :)

Please smile more, 
Marta