My Mom Always Told Me...

   My Mom ALWAYS told me that I was pretty and smart.  I totally believed her!  MY MOM didn't lie! (not that I knew of, LOL)  Her greatest gift, she gave me that dose of self confidence.  I do the same for my Daughter now!  I tell her ALL the time that she is a ROCKSTAR and that only she holds the power to decide who she is.  No one is strong enough to make her feel bad about herself!   She (both good and bad) is not the middle of 2 sisters - therefore she lacks the practice field for battle that is SO VITAL in the survival skills handbag for high school (mean girls).  I role-play with her as often as she will let me.  (It is actually fun - more flashbacks) She is AMAZED at how nasty my non-suppressed simple sibling memories are.  Then she realizes just why she is an ONLY child...  "Yes, we are awesome friends NOW..."  Enough said, hee hee.
   I am blessed to have developed the wide-open-door communication with my daughter.   The things that she is 100% comfortable telling/asking me warrants the moment of silent prayer that I just took!  As a middle child - mostly by choice I believe - I took the independent path and asked only those questions that I could NOT figure out for myself (and believe me-- those were painful to have to ask)!  I just did not want help... not with the other two demanding so much all of the time-- I knew my mom was exhausted!  (Not talking smack--my sissies know). 
   The true Mom/Daughter bond for me came when I gave birth and joined the "club".   Finally- Mom always telling me, "Just WAIT until you have a daughter of your own!!" Such a magical time and new phase in our relationship.  The next milestone was when my Dad passed.  I am most like him (brilliant, witty workaholic...) I was pretending to be him just then... sorry, kind of J.   I spent that first month with my Mom and it was the first time that we got to know each other as 'women'.  VERY COOL.  Getting to know me answered SO many questions about my Dad for her!  Because I am also a wife, a mommy, etc.. I could explain it in 'girl talk'!  For being such a sad time, it was one of our best mommy/me times too!  Funny how life works that way, isn't it?
   I hope that my daughter and I can mark similar milestones in our relationship as the decades pass and I hope that her respect for me grows like mine has for my MOM!   Every parent does the best that they can with what they have.   I think it is every grown-ups CHOICE to use their childhood as a crutch OR to use it as a pole vault!