*❤*Sometimes the Hardest Part is Believing in Our Own MAGIC*❤*

`*❤*`Sometimes the Hardest Part is Believing in Our Own MAGIC`*❤*`

We stand behind the people that we love.  NO QUESTIONS, NO DOUBTS!  We are their #1 Fans, day in and day out!  I don’t think there is anything that we would not do or say to make sure that our children, our spouses or our friends see just how very special they are!

Then we pass that MIRROR. OH GOD that MIRROR.  Who do we see?  What do we see?  What voice do we use when we talk to that reflection that stares back at you and at me?

I think it was when my daughter was in about 4^th grade when I decided (no idea why & I actually had forgotten that I did this until I started typing this…) to tape a sign across the top of our bathroom mirror.  It simply read, “Smile You Are Beautiful!”   I guess I unconsciously knew that this was the age when girls started to decide/develop their self image beliefs.  I was travelling a lot back then, so I wasn’t home every morning to tell her how beautiful she looked as she headed out the door for school.  I wanted her to learn to tell herself.   I hoped that she would grasp early on that no one has the ability to make you feel bad about yourself, without your permission. 

Learning to see your own beauty and to set self worth comes from your ability to believe in your own MAGIC.  We all have magic.  You MUST believe that what you CHOOSE to do, even the littlest of things, and the way in which you do them REALLY DOES make a difference.  Being “BEAUTIFUL” comes from who you are and how you choose to treat people.  Smiling and being self confident, that is beautiful.   People believe about you what you believe about yourself.   That is magical!  You have so much power and you own that power. 

You can share your heart.  You can share your body and your mind.  Under no circumstances, may you ever share or give away the power of your magic. 

       I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE IN MAGIC!  MINE AND YOURS!  

Why do Strangers get all the Love?

 
We are so much nicer to random strangers than we are to the people that we live with and love everyday.  That is just silly.  
  You may have heard this and I'm sure you already know it - but isn't it worth repeating time and time again, until we find the way to change it?  Let's say you are having just a rotten to the core kind of day: Hey it happens.   
 We tend to lash out at our families.  It is that "unconditional love-- safety zone syndrome" like when you pick up your toddler from daycare-- and your provider tells you, "Oh you have such an angel!"  Then you get home or heaven forbid you stop at the store.. and WHOA-- who's kid is THIS?? Temper tantrum worthy of an episode of "Super Nanny".    It is because he/she had to be good ALL day and is now safe with Mommy (or Daddy) and can let it all go without risking exile. 
  I think that it is the same thing when we are out in public;  we smile, hold the door and make NICEY NICE with complete strangers 10 minutes after ripping the faces off of our family members at the breakfast table.  SO RIDICULOUS -- Don't you agree?? 
  I wish there was a switch that could stop people from doing this.  No one enjoys hurting the ones that they love (one would like to think...)  It is a CHOICE and one that each of us OWNS.  We CAN actually stop ourselves from spitting venom at the pretty familiar faces!  Use that polite public diplomacy and stop the cycle.  You know the cycle-- the one where people in the neighborhood  say "Oh he/she is the nicest, sweetest person!"  All the while his/her spouse/kids are rolling their eyes choking back their sarcastic response of, "Oh yea, you don't LIVE with him/her!"
  Breaking that cycle sure would reduce those hard to swallow (or non-existent) 'I'm Sorries'!   This is just a snack to think about next time one of those MANIC MONDAYS rolls your way!  I always tell my daughter to try not to worry so much what others think or say--- If you don't love someone, then they can't really hurt you.  (Lesson from dealing with the retail public.)  I have her look in the mirror at the reflection of the person who's opinion matters the most!  That is also the person that she must learn to LOVE first - (unconditionally) before she can truly love others. (Of course as I am teaching this lesson, I note that my reflection is also in that mirror... because MOMMY counts too & will always love and support her!) 
  You know I can remember ever single mean thing that was ever said to me.... Can't you?  I would hate to think that some of those MEAN THINGS have my voice attached to them in the memories of my precious lovies... and I know that they do.  Perfection is not something I aim for.  Redemption through paying it forward and teaching others the lessons that I have learned the hard way seems to help me find great joy and peace of mind. 
   Be nice at HOME first, those are the hearts that COUNT!

THE STORY OF THE OLD CARPENTER

Once upon a time, there lived an old carpenter who was preparing himself for retirement.   One day, he told the owner of the carpentry shop, that he had worked many years and now he wanted to retire so finally he could rest.

The owner, upon hearing this news,  became very sad and tried to persuade him to stay, but the carpenter had made up his mind and would not change his decision.

At last the owner, although unhappy, accepted but asked him to make one final house before his retirement .

Although the carpenter was not very happy, he agreed to do it but his heart was not in it.   He had accepted this task not with his complete consent and felt that it was against his will but he began the project anyway.

With carelessness and indifference he chose the material for the house.  With laziness and lethargy he finished building the house as fast as he could so he could leave.   Once completed, he called the owner to come and receive the key to the house right away.   

When the shop owner arrived and received the key, he gave the key back to him and said:  This home is your gift for the years of your cooperation with me.   This is your retirement home!!!!!!!!!!

Upon this unexpected action, the Carpenter was very embarrassed.  He would have definitely used much better quality material and skills and would have taken more care in making a stronger home, had he known that the house was meant for him.  He would have made a much more beautiful home.

This is the story of our lives....

  Every day we are making our own home....every day passes so swiftly...sometimes we barely notice what we are building.    And then from an unexpected event, we find out that we have to live in what we have built.   If we realize this and become aware of our responsibilities and our own actions then maybe we would use more care into making a better home.  Opportunities flee and at times we don't have the chance to make a second house.

You are the carpenter of your own house, and the builder of your days....the days are like the beating of each stroke of hammer upon each nail that make the foundation, the walls, the roof...

Make it strong and healthy for your own dwelling...

(A true story...  I thought it was worth sharing, my Mom shared it with me).

Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean?

	A Motivational Smile - Inspirational Words of Wisdom Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean? By Author Unknown      I sure hope that this continues to spread! I have already shared this with my daughter! A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Like the CARROT, the EGG, OR the COFFEE BEAN?

                         I say, “Be the BEAN!”

Detox your Social Circle- Is it Time to CLEANSE???

If you own ONE thing in this world, it is your POWER to CHOOSE. Remember that when you are choosing your friends and who you spend your time with. If you are truly focused on making changes, meeting a goal or chasing your dream - then surround yourself with people that will support you and add to your spirit.

Fitness: Want to get in shape and lose weight? Make the commitment and set your plan of action. If you have a "friend" that constantly wants to meet you out for lunch, or snacks, or drinks--- whatever will throw you off track: THEN THIS PERSON is probably NOT a good friend for you (right now). If you have talked to him/her and said, "I can't eat that" and he/she still does it... or worse yet... gives you the, "OH, it's fine... you can work it off later"-- or "You only live once..." Whatever the line... They are NOT helping you to stay focused. I would LOVE to help you!

Passion/Hobby: If there is something that you LLLove to do, you are good at and/or it brings you joy – THEN DO IT! Do not allow anyone to talk you out of following your passion or your dream. People will try; unhappy people really do enjoy company. If you have a ‘friend’ that calls your crafts SILLY- or constantly asks you, “Do you think you’re going to get rich doing that?” Then again, this is probably not a friend that boosts your inner strength or brightens your spirit. You will find yourself wanting to “prove them wrong” instead of ENJOYING your journey. (What a shame).

I am not suggesting that you cut ties with family & friends, just make smart choices when it comes to the company you keep. In order to be successful (AT ANYTHING) you need to surround yourself with supportive, positive people.

Friends don’t need to share passions or even have the same taste. True friends celebrate each other’s spirit, share joys, they do not judge.

It is healthy to cleanse our systems. Take a good look at your social circle, is it time to CLEANSE? Negative influence can only affect you IF YOU ANSWER that call... or INVITE IT OVER. (Just sayin')

Detox --Negative Nelly, Doubting Donnie, Pessimistic Patty, Cynical Cindy, Gloomy Gary and Puts-Me-Down Petula!!!

*❤* Mothers- please talk to your Daughters *❤*

There are not many things in this world that are more powerful than a  Mother's love.  I am blessed to be a mom and to have a beautiful teenage daughter that is able to share her emotions and communicate with me.  That was my #1 goal in raising her - I wanted her to KNOW that I was her SAFE PLACE.  I mean, if a girl can't trust her mother, then her entire world will be unbalanced.


I get my heart broken time and time again as her awesome friends come to spend the night and we "chat" for a bit... (she actually lets me do that).  Every now and then I will allow them to ask me questions-- and they don't even have to look at me...  I do it so that they can have REAL ANSWERS - because it is terrifying what they think and believe to be true.  I also get a quick reality check and gage as to where they are by the types of questions that they ask! 


I- for one - DID NOT FORGET what it felt like to be a teenage girl.  There are so many girls out there that do not tell their mothers anything!  I mean their mom's have NO CLUE what these girls do, where they go, etc.  How scary is that!?!?  Girls have gotten SO much meaner and have more weapons in which to "hurt" eachother with... I wish that they could see ahead 20 years ... go to a reuion and hear some stories... Some women carry these 'girl' scars for a long long time!  The girls of today would mature into healthier, more powerful women if they could detox the drama early on!


I try so hard to teach the "get off the porch" lesson to anyone who will listen.  Whenever people are focussing on YOU, then try not to react.  Hold on to your power- do not give it away to a group of drama launchers!   It is easy to picture it as if you are standing on your front porch and a group of kids are pelting you with water balloons.  They will keep launching balloons as long as you keep standing there and are a fun target-- even better if you scream,  cry and jump up and down!  It is YOUR CHOICE-- when you are tired of getting wet, then go inside and shut the door. (ie: logoff facebook, turn off your cell phone, etc.)  It isn't very much fun to throw balloons at an empty porch (an unavailable target)...  and pretty soon, someone else will come outside!  (just make sure that YOU do not join the throwers)!


The times when your teenager pushes you away are the times when she needs you there the most!  Just be her safe place,  make it OK to talk, OK to feel the feelings that she feels, and validate her journey.  You can't walk the path for her, but you can help her to find some pretty cool spots along the way!  No one is perfect and we all know that there is not a manual of how to do this correctly!  Just share the lessons that you've learned the hard way, and remember that giggles can help mend almost anything...   


I LOVE my MOM.  I LOVE being a MOM.  I LOVE my Daughter.  I LOVE my FRIENDS that help me keep my mom wits and giggles!

PS:  This goes for BOYS too *❤* I only have sisters and a daughter, so my "expertise" are a bit girlie =0)

HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR SPIRIT, YOU OWN THAT.

“Your SKILLS make you an asset to an Organization.
Your ATTITUDE and SPIRIT add value to it’s Net Worth.”Marta Haut
Copyright ©

"MANAGEMENT-ISMS" aka (marta-isms)

This is a list that I built and passed along to each new "Rookie" District Manager that I mentored over the years.  Lessons learned the hard way, hopefully will serve as growing pain prevention.

~ I do My BEST WORK when I remember to be myself!
~ I will NEVER forget what it takes to run the floor and manage the store.
~ I do not waste time or energy worrying about what people think of me.
~ My business is my business...the rest must be NONE of my business.
~ I have control over HOW I react to things that are put on my plate.
~ Never miss an opportunity to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT - I can't learn if I am not listening.
~ I do not have to be loud to be respected <ARTICULATE myself with GRACE and PROFESSIONALISM.
~ Remove the EMOTION...never the SPIRIT or the PASSION.
~ The only approval I seek comes from the results and achievements of my team.
~ It is no longer about ME...it is all about MY TEAM.
~ I will not be a problem solver, I will empower people to solve problems.
~ If it comes out of my mouth OUT LOUD...then I’d better be right. (know the facts)
~ Pick my battles wisely....trivial issues are exhausting and can be brutal.
~ There is no room on my shoulders for self doubt & insecurity.
~ I am the only one who can set my limitations.
~ The time and energy that I SPEND on my team TODAY will PAY for my FUTURE.
~ If I do not stick up for my people, WHO THE HECK WILL?
~ If it is important to my TEAM, then it is important to ME.
~ I had to make MANY mistakes to get this SMART! (Mistakes = Learning)
~ No one reaches brilliant by themselves…..be open to new ideas.
~ If it is good to help others, then it is good to ask for help when you need it.
~ I have confidence in myself, because I really BELIEVE that I CAN DO ANYTHING!
~ I will NEVER EVER lower my standards. 
~ I have learned, it is usually your ‘best’ people who will burn you, keep your eyes open.
~ If I don’t know the answer, I won’t make up an answer just to have an answer! 
~ I must establish a good connection, before I can communicate.
~ Did I TEACH someone something new today? Did I LEARN something new today?
~ There is ALWAYS something else to try, never never never give up. 
~ I will be careful not to start my conversations with, “I NEED” I will say, "How are you?"
~ I will do what I say I am going to do, and I will be on time.
                                                                                                    Copyright ©

ROCKSTAR Reflections...

For as long as I can remember, I have recognized the ROCKSTAR within those around me.  I know I grabbed  a hold of this "Leadership Style" early on in my Retail Career - because it was highly effective.  I have wittnessed so many people with titles hold their teams hostage with fear power and intimidation tactics  -- did it produce results?  Oh absolutely it did, short term.  What fear power does not provide, is a future.  Fear doesn't build a team,  teach leadership skills, create ownership or provide future bench strength. 

I often wonder about these 'fear powered' managers (cannot call them leaders), I bet it is exhausting to have to be negative and harsh all of the time!  If you have a team that you honestly have to manage with an iron fist, I think you have the wrong team.  There are so many talented individuals that crave a leader that will recognize their accomplishments and hardwork, then challenge them to reach higher by teaching them how and simply providing them with the resources needed.   Let the ROCKSTARS ROCK!

Mistakes and bad decisions are always part of life/business, this is how we learn.  These things may never be ignored, for if a leader says nothing - it is the same as saying, "I accept that behavior".  The point here is: Mark It and Move On! 

I have learned so much from the individuals that I have had the honor of training over the past 25 years.  ROCKSTARS, every single one of them have left me forever touched. I am one lucky learner. =) 
                                                                                                         Copyright ©