Still Standing

This month marks the anniversary of life altering events for me. 

•  Lost a dear friend ( to a sudden heart attack) 11-21-09
  
•  9 days later I lost my dad, sudden heart attack, he was only 67 11-30-09


• 39 days after that: I was shocked to the core by an unexpected corporate reorganization that took my 20 year career (which I LOVED).  This event also put 100 members of my “work family” out of their jobs too…

*❤* Mothers- please talk to your Daughters *❤*

There are not many things in this world that are more powerful than a  Mother's love.  I am blessed to be a mom and to have a beautiful teenage daughter that is able to share her emotions and communicate with me.  That was my #1 goal in raising her - I wanted her to KNOW that I was her SAFE PLACE.  I mean, if a girl can't trust her mother, then her entire world will be unbalanced.


I get my heart broken time and time again as her awesome friends come to spend the night and we "chat" for a bit... (she actually lets me do that).  Every now and then I will allow them to ask me questions-- and they don't even have to look at me...  I do it so that they can have REAL ANSWERS - because it is terrifying what they think and believe to be true.  I also get a quick reality check and gage as to where they are by the types of questions that they ask! 


I- for one - DID NOT FORGET what it felt like to be a teenage girl.  There are so many girls out there that do not tell their mothers anything!  I mean their mom's have NO CLUE what these girls do, where they go, etc.  How scary is that!?!?  Girls have gotten SO much meaner and have more weapons in which to "hurt" eachother with... I wish that they could see ahead 20 years ... go to a reuion and hear some stories... Some women carry these 'girl' scars for a long long time!  The girls of today would mature into healthier, more powerful women if they could detox the drama early on!


I try so hard to teach the "get off the porch" lesson to anyone who will listen.  Whenever people are focussing on YOU, then try not to react.  Hold on to your power- do not give it away to a group of drama launchers!   It is easy to picture it as if you are standing on your front porch and a group of kids are pelting you with water balloons.  They will keep launching balloons as long as you keep standing there and are a fun target-- even better if you scream,  cry and jump up and down!  It is YOUR CHOICE-- when you are tired of getting wet, then go inside and shut the door. (ie: logoff facebook, turn off your cell phone, etc.)  It isn't very much fun to throw balloons at an empty porch (an unavailable target)...  and pretty soon, someone else will come outside!  (just make sure that YOU do not join the throwers)!


The times when your teenager pushes you away are the times when she needs you there the most!  Just be her safe place,  make it OK to talk, OK to feel the feelings that she feels, and validate her journey.  You can't walk the path for her, but you can help her to find some pretty cool spots along the way!  No one is perfect and we all know that there is not a manual of how to do this correctly!  Just share the lessons that you've learned the hard way, and remember that giggles can help mend almost anything...   


I LOVE my MOM.  I LOVE being a MOM.  I LOVE my Daughter.  I LOVE my FRIENDS that help me keep my mom wits and giggles!

PS:  This goes for BOYS too *❤* I only have sisters and a daughter, so my "expertise" are a bit girlie =0)

HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR SPIRIT, YOU OWN THAT.

“Your SKILLS make you an asset to an Organization.
Your ATTITUDE and SPIRIT add value to it’s Net Worth.”Marta Haut
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"MANAGEMENT-ISMS" aka (marta-isms)

This is a list that I built and passed along to each new "Rookie" District Manager that I mentored over the years.  Lessons learned the hard way, hopefully will serve as growing pain prevention.

~ I do My BEST WORK when I remember to be myself!
~ I will NEVER forget what it takes to run the floor and manage the store.
~ I do not waste time or energy worrying about what people think of me.
~ My business is my business...the rest must be NONE of my business.
~ I have control over HOW I react to things that are put on my plate.
~ Never miss an opportunity to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT - I can't learn if I am not listening.
~ I do not have to be loud to be respected <ARTICULATE myself with GRACE and PROFESSIONALISM.
~ Remove the EMOTION...never the SPIRIT or the PASSION.
~ The only approval I seek comes from the results and achievements of my team.
~ It is no longer about ME...it is all about MY TEAM.
~ I will not be a problem solver, I will empower people to solve problems.
~ If it comes out of my mouth OUT LOUD...then I’d better be right. (know the facts)
~ Pick my battles wisely....trivial issues are exhausting and can be brutal.
~ There is no room on my shoulders for self doubt & insecurity.
~ I am the only one who can set my limitations.
~ The time and energy that I SPEND on my team TODAY will PAY for my FUTURE.
~ If I do not stick up for my people, WHO THE HECK WILL?
~ If it is important to my TEAM, then it is important to ME.
~ I had to make MANY mistakes to get this SMART! (Mistakes = Learning)
~ No one reaches brilliant by themselves…..be open to new ideas.
~ If it is good to help others, then it is good to ask for help when you need it.
~ I have confidence in myself, because I really BELIEVE that I CAN DO ANYTHING!
~ I will NEVER EVER lower my standards. 
~ I have learned, it is usually your ‘best’ people who will burn you, keep your eyes open.
~ If I don’t know the answer, I won’t make up an answer just to have an answer! 
~ I must establish a good connection, before I can communicate.
~ Did I TEACH someone something new today? Did I LEARN something new today?
~ There is ALWAYS something else to try, never never never give up. 
~ I will be careful not to start my conversations with, “I NEED” I will say, "How are you?"
~ I will do what I say I am going to do, and I will be on time.
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EMOTIONS NEED AEROBICS TOO!

Today my close circle of "committee" friends and I had some really great conversations!  You name it, we covered it! Sometimes it is just as important to give your emotions a GREAT WORKOUT too! When you have the support of a special group of friends, you can bring each other from tears to rage to giggles and really get things out! It feels great to know that you are not alone and that everybody deals with the same dramas of LIVING LIFE!  To allow feedback from someone who can look at your situation without your emotions is smart and healthy life management!  Please SHARE YOUR STORIES (with people that you trust to keep them in the vault) and "Work it ALL OUT"! ~ smile more =0)
                                                                                                                   
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ROCKSTAR Reflections...

For as long as I can remember, I have recognized the ROCKSTAR within those around me.  I know I grabbed  a hold of this "Leadership Style" early on in my Retail Career - because it was highly effective.  I have wittnessed so many people with titles hold their teams hostage with fear power and intimidation tactics  -- did it produce results?  Oh absolutely it did, short term.  What fear power does not provide, is a future.  Fear doesn't build a team,  teach leadership skills, create ownership or provide future bench strength. 

I often wonder about these 'fear powered' managers (cannot call them leaders), I bet it is exhausting to have to be negative and harsh all of the time!  If you have a team that you honestly have to manage with an iron fist, I think you have the wrong team.  There are so many talented individuals that crave a leader that will recognize their accomplishments and hardwork, then challenge them to reach higher by teaching them how and simply providing them with the resources needed.   Let the ROCKSTARS ROCK!

Mistakes and bad decisions are always part of life/business, this is how we learn.  These things may never be ignored, for if a leader says nothing - it is the same as saying, "I accept that behavior".  The point here is: Mark It and Move On! 

I have learned so much from the individuals that I have had the honor of training over the past 25 years.  ROCKSTARS, every single one of them have left me forever touched. I am one lucky learner. =) 
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"Never Happened File"

Woke up 6ish... every intention of getting my husband off to his twin brother's house to help tile (free family labor) then to jump downstairs and TURBOFIRE my way into my list of things to do!  Well, husband on his way, then side tracked by the pile of smelly work clothes on the bathroom floor, I ran back upstairs to grab them...  Hi - it is 9:30- GOOD MORNING!  (slacker)  This never happens, aside from just now.  So, I will simply file it in the "Never Happened File".  (LOVE this FILE - if you don't have one... please get one for yourself)!
 The "Never Happened File": You can't learn without making mistakes - but that doesn't mean you want to look at those lessons again...  :)

Please smile more, 
Marta